All medical conditions will be renamed on the basis of onomatopoeia. Diarrhea will be known as 'buggity blap blap verslatch.'
For security reasons, the government will declare it illegal to say numbers out loud. And the singing of numbers will be punishable by death.
Conan O'Brien's book about his own sexual escapades will be banned by schoolboards not for explicit descriptions of sex, but for inaccurate descriptions of sex.
The Mir space station will finally crash to earth, but not before completing its most important experiment, to see how long it takes for a big hunk of Russian made crap to fall out of the sky.
To simplify police work, a new federal law will require all known sex offenders to change their name to Kennedy.
A retired President Clinton will write his memoirs and be sued for plagiarism by Wilt Chamberlain.
After millions of years of stability the food chain will suddenly reverse. Zebras will hunt down lions, Pop Tarts will hunt down man.
The public demand that the NBA expand to a 52 week schedule. Not for the love of the game, but to keep Shaquille O'Neal too busy to make lame movies.
The world is rocked when Colonel Sander's secret recipe is discovered to be; one part salt, one part sage and the gayest chicken that money can buy.
Iraq will become the most powerful nation in the world thanks to their new leader, coach Bill Parcell.
The Pope will shock the world when he abruptly changes faith, declaring, 'I'm a Zeus man now.'
New evidence of OJ's guilt emerges when records show that on the day before the crime he applied at Los Angeles County Court for a murder license.
Man will devolve back into apes, while apes will evolve into man. Women will not be affected.
The American educational system will be thrown into chaos when a grown man in Illinois actually uses algebra in real life.
Mormons will decide that their religion is too strict and will begin drinking coffee, the occasional beer and the blood of the elderly.
The hyphen will be replaced by the dash, and the dash will be replaced by the hyphen. No one will notice.
Magician David Copperfield will finally reveal how he does his amazing tricks; He's Jesus.
When things go very wrong, it will be a medley of peas and carrots that will hit the fan.
After being convicted, Michael Jackson escapes from prison disguised as a black man who likes grownups.
An English major will break up with her boyfriend. She will make him feel better by assuring him, 'It's not you, it's I.'
Twenty years after the series ended, the Friends cast will reunite for a special reunion show- everyone will participate except Mexican dictator, Matt LeBlanc.
Even gays will object to gay marriage when James Lipton marries Ice-T simply to become James Lipton Ice-T.
Batman will admit that he's gay. Clay Aiken will admit that he's Batman.
Snoop Dogg will convert to Judaism and change his trademark 'fo shizzle my nizzle' to 'sheitzel fizeitzel'.
As a display of gratitude for their loyal support, Britney Spears will release an album dedicated to her fans. The album will be called 'Thanks Idiots.'
A man with a bulge in his crotch will be asked by his girlfriend if he has a banana in his pocket or if he's just happy to see her. In fact, he will both be happy to see her and have a banana in his pocket. From that point on, men with bulges will be asked "Is that a banana in your pocket and/or are you happy to see me?"
When it is discovered that it takes exactly 437 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, it will be announced that science is officially over.
A strange virus will kill every man in the world except Conan O'Brien, and every woman in the world except Jennifer Lopez. The marriage will last 32 days.
Robots will do all of our dull, repetitive tasks like washing dishes and marrying J Lo.
In an effort to make it more exciting, Daylight Savings Time will be renamed Daylight Awesome Time.
Mr. T has a son that he names after himself. To avoid confusion the boy is known as Mr. Lowercase T.
We will finally learn what makes French vanilla ice cream different from regular vanilla ice cream--cowardice.
In the Year 2000 is copyright NBC.